PAUL RYAN HAS NOT READ MARTY'S TOWN

Paul Ryan has not read Marty’s Town, the fourth novel by Jim Fuller, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be a great vice president.  It wouldn’t be any help to him to know how to shear sheep or how to tromp wool but he might enjoy reading about how Wesley Taylor reacted when a dead man’s eyes opened and closed.   Or perhaps he would be amused at the way Cindy breaks up a fight between Wesley and her husband.  He might have some tense moments when a crazed man attacks Wes Shearer with a knife during a dark night. These and many other fascinating events can be found all through this enjoyable novel.

IS AMERICAN ENGLISH A LANGUAGE OR AN ENIGMA?

　

I said, "When I get tired of holding the bag I will set it down."

Well, I got tired of holding the bag so I sot it down. No, that isn’t right, I guess I must have setted it down. Wait a minute! The past tense of get is got so why isn’t the past tense of set sot? Okay, the past tense of net is netted so the past tense of set must be setted but my teacher would slap my hand with her ruler because she teached me to do things right. What? You say the past tense of teach is taught? Does that mean that the past tense of reach is raught? Don’t tell that teacher I made these mistakes because she was a moose and I’m afraid of her. Several of my teachers were mooses. Oh, oh, spell checker says mooses is wrong. Oh, sure, plural of goose is geese so the plural of moose must be meese. No? That reminds me, the plural for mouse is mice so if there is more than one house, are they hice? Oh boy, this is making me so tired I would like to go lie down but my mother always told me not to lie. I could go lay down but that moose told me that only hens lay. I guess she meant that they lay eggs but I knew a hen that cackled like she had layed (oops, I meant laid) but she staid on the nest and there wasn’t any egg so she hadn’t laid, she had lied!